Feeling important

“Feeling important is awesome. I want everyone to feel important.” Nick, one of our Ambassadors opened our annual conference alongside the incoming President of ADASS, Margaret Willcox as co-chairs and instantly had the whole room of Shared Lives and Homeshare colleagues and participants engaged. He was talking about the experience of working with Shared Lives Plus as an Ambassador, doing work which makes a difference, as well as about the feeling of belonging and mattering that is at the heart of all good Shared Lives.

At the annual social services conference the week before, I’d enjoyed, as I do each year, catching up with a huge number of colleagues, making new links and learning about some of the most interesting initiatives around the country (not to mention being rubbish in the annual quiz). But a question from a parent of a disabled daughter stuck with me: “I’ve been looking at all these sessions and discussions and wondering where I will find my daughter in them?” The conference did include a small number of sessions led by people with lived experience including the launch of a new model of ‘coproduction’ from the group of people with lived experience at the heart of the Think Local, Act Personal partnership and an inspiring fringe event with DanceSyndrome and Community Catalysts. But in too many of the main sessions there was a yawning gap between the discussion’s topic and participants and the people whose lives were being discussed. When you put a lot of ‘important’ people together, it can be easy to lose sight of what and who is really important. As Nick told us at our event, it’s great feeling important but that feeling should be for everyone.

Our conference now attracts Shared Lives carers and people using Shared Lives, as well as one or two family members and there are sessions which are designed particularly with them in mind, but I suspect that they will at times have felt that gap in some of the discussions at our event too. Involving people who use Shared Lives and Shared Lives carers as speakers, co-chairs and part of the support team has made a huge difference and hopefully prevents us from straying too far from what we are all supposed to be about, but we know we have further to go. Now that our conference has a Homeshare strand for the first time, we are also starting to think about how people who live in Homeshare households can be a part of future events.

Coproduction, as experts like Clenton Farquharson will tell you, is a journey. If you think you’ve arrived, you’ve probably just stopped. At our event, I was immensely proud of the work that we do, of our team and the membership network of which we are a part. It’s rare I think to be at an event for 200+ which feels both nationally important and ‘like family’ as one participant put it, not to mention smoothly run by our amazing office team. But it’s important I think to keep asking ourselves: where are the people who we are talking about in these discussions? If they are in the room, leading those discussions, having helped to design them, the answer to that question is much more likely to be clear to everyone.

Chris’s move to our Shared Lives home

Yesterday I published Chris’ own account of his move into a Shared Lives household. Here, Alison, his Shared Lives carer, very kindly shares her story. Alison writes:

Before moving here Chris had lived for 19 years in a small residential home since his teenage years. It was an excellent home where he was well supported and enjoyed a very good relationship with staff and some residents. I wondered how he would adjust to life in a small family home and whether he would miss having a big group of people to keep him company and support him. It was daunting to know that a team of 12 carers was being replaced by just one. Me!

One year on and I can truthfully say that Chris has never looked back. Shared Lives can often change people’s lives suddenly and dramatically for the better, but at other times it makes a less obvious but no less important difference. For Chris I would say it has been a gentle shift from a subtly institutionalised life to one as an ordinary member of an ordinary family doing ordinary things.

He seems to feel a greater sense of freedom – he makes more choices, comes and goes as he pleases and stays at home alone for agreed periods of time. He seeks permission much less and more often tells me what he is going to do instead of asking. He is encouraged to make his own decisions even if I don’t agree with them – this is much harder for me than it is for Chris! We have many conversations about honesty – Chris gets better at telling me the truth rather than just what he thinks I want to hear, and understanding that if I don’t like it then that is my problem and not his!

His social circle has expanded dramatically – he has met Continue reading

My Move to Shared Lives

Chris has very kindly shared his story of moving into a Shared Lives household from residential care. Thanks Chris! Tomorrow, I’ll post Shared Lives carer Alison’s account of the same move. Chris is with the Birmingham Shared Lives Scheme and he writes:

Moving from residential care to Shared Lives

When I lived in residential care I did have independence but other clients came first, I was too independent for them.

When the social worker did my annual review I only needed 23 hours support per day not 24 hours. There was some meetings with the social worker and later an advocate, we talked about good and bad points of residential against Shared Lives. I was worried about moving to a house with just a couple – what if they argued or were too much into each other and I got ignored. But in the end Shared Lives won out as there would be more independent things I could do what I couldn’t do in residential.

First I went to visit a Shared Lives carer twice but at that time he wasn’t ready for a permanent arrangement. Then Andrew who works for Shared Lives told me about Alison, then it was a visit to see if I liked her then a stop overnight. Then a final meeting to set up for moving.  At first I walked the dog sometimes. I sorted out my bedroom, my bus pass, medication and medical treatment. I got to know the area and met Alison’s family and friends.

How is Shared Lives different from residential care?

There are less forms to fill in. I am more independent. I go to more places than before, like we just went to Brighton – I couldn’t do that before, there would be a lot more people involved and a lot of planning. Our trip to Rome would have taken much longer to plan for example how many staff and clients were going. In residential I couldn’t go out to a club without having to do a risk assessment and care plan. Since I moved in I think we have been on 9 trips. I also stay with Sylvia and Carol for respite, they are Shared Lives carers too.

I would say it is more of a family. I do get on with everybody – I get on very good with Pilui (Alison’s husband), I get on with Alison very good, I would say more of a closeness.

In residential I had to take my tablets exactly 8am and 6pm, Continue reading

Go Shared Lives!

This is a guest blog from Michelle McDaid, a policy manager at the Department of Health, who has often worked behind the scenes to develop policies which help make the Shared Lives model a possibility for more people. Michelle’s blog has also appeared on the Dept Health website:

On a Friday in April I had the privilege to visit a Shared Lives family in Bexley. Through Shared Lives Plus I was put in touch with Bexley Council and the brilliant Catherine Nairn who is the Manager of the Bexley Shared Lives Scheme.

Going out to visit Shared Lives is something I have wanted to do and experience for a very long time. But like lots of things, I kept putting it off. Pressure of work and all that!!  I work in social care policy at the Department of Health. One of the areas we look at is improvement in the quality of care, for both those using it and for the staff who work in it. Over the years I have worked very closely with Alex and Mark at Shared Lives Plus, on Shared Lives issues. But I have to confess that I never took the time to go out and meet a family.

The Department runs something called Connecting. It’s a ‘back-to-the-floor’ scheme to help staff connect to the experiences of patients and people using services. As a ‘policy maker’ it is vital for me to see in action the people who provide and use the adult social care system. I couldn’t do my job without doing so – which is why I jumped at the chance to go out to Bexley.

I visited the council offices first where I met Catherine. I also met Caroline Maclean Head of Service, Complex Care and the Council’s director of adult social care Tom Brown and Mandy Grandini who works alongside Catherine.

We had a long and extremely interesting chat about Shared Lives. I learnt all about the Scheme in Bexley – all about the vetting process – how the Scheme is set up and what the aims of the Council are in this area. It was incredibly uplifting to hear of the resource and support being put in to such an innovative and amazing scheme. I saw the most brilliant short film about a Shared Lives family. I have to say if anybody saw this, then personally I think they would be in no doubt of how this scheme can bring so much support and help to the person being cared for.

After our meeting, Catherine and I set off to meet the Shared Lives family. I have to say I felt slightly concerned about imposing myself on this family but I needn’t have worried. I was met at the door by the Shared Lives carers (who knew I was coming by the way). They were so lovely and friendly and welcomed me into their beautiful home. The couple look after three people with learning disabilities or other support needs. The two people I met were in their mid-fifties or early sixties. One had been living there nearly a year and the other person had been with the family for 16 years.

I met the first person who was a little bit shy at first, but after a short while came down from his room and joined in our conversation. A short while later I met the second person, who had been out volunteering which he does a few times a week. He began telling me Continue reading

Latest Shared Lives news

Cathy Newman of Channel 4 News met a Shared Lives household: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb_DyYvE9zE

Our £1.75m partnership with NHS England has been launched with funding awarded to five areas and their Clinical Commissioning Groups to develop Shared Lives as a form of healthcare.

The Shared Lives Incubator social investment programme developed in partnership with Social Finance and Community Catalysts is investing in Shared Lives in three areas.

Life is not as scary as I thought

Here is Matt’s Shared Lives story: more stories on our website.

Matt Sheppard 

“My name is Matthew Sheppard and I have lived in Shared Lives for five years.

I live with Chris and Denis my carers and two other guys. I like living here because they respect my own space as it is very important to me and I am able to live as independently as possible and experience live to the fullest and days out, events, meetings and making friends.”

How long have those who support you been involved in Shared Lives?
Chris my carer grew up in a Shared Lives setting as his parents and grandparents are Shared Lives carers too. Chris and Denis have been Shared Lives carers for five years now.

What do you like about living in Shared Lives?
I used to find new things, new people, and experiences difficult as change was hard for me to understand but since living with Chris and Denis I have watched and experienced everyday life and seen life is not as scary as I thought. I now love meeting people and doing new things.

How has your lifestyle/health changed since living in Shared Lives?
I’m very healthy. Chris and Denis help me plan my weeks ahead for appointments such as doctors, dentist, days out and visitors and I have a calendar so I can keep track of what’s going on so I am able to understand better, and I get to experience lots of new things.

Tell us about your screwball rally races!
I love going on the screwball rally as I love cars. When we all go its great fun as everyone is in fancy dress and the cars are too and I get to see friends which I made the year before and get to check out their new car or see what they have done to the old car and then we all meet up for drinks and food and a party at the end of the day. We also meet up with my mum and her partner as they go ahead and meet us at new destination and I get to see lots of new places on the way. On the last rally, our car was in the French newspaper it was very exciting as all the people were waving at me as we drove through the villages.

What do you use to decorate the cars?
One year we painted our hands and put hand prints all over the car and the last car we did was my favourite because I love teddy bears. We stuck 200 teddy bears all over the car, we made it the teddy bears picnic and had picnics all over Europe – the best one was in the Pyrenees Mountains.

Is there anything else you would like to tell us about yourself?
I have lots of new hobbies too, I like computers, taking photos, and fishing trips. I use the net to pick up fish, my next aim is to try the fishing rod and this year I did the London to Brighton Land Rover run which was good fun and I did Brighton Colour Run – great fun, I got covered in lots of colour.

I also love to travel. Chris took me to Turkey which I loved especially going to all the different temples, sights, smells, sounds and different people that spoke funny and made me laugh and very different food. I especially loved it when we went to Miletus as an old lady made me a special breakfast and we sat on the floor to eat and share. After breakfast and lots of tea and laughter, she gave me a gift – a Turkish eye which was for good luck. She said it was a long time since she had had so much fun and laughter and was happy that I took the time to stop and have breakfast with her.”

Click here to see a collage of Matthew’s trips around Europe on the screwball rally!

Thank you to Lucy West and the Shared Lives Scheme in West Sussex, visit their website to discover more on becoming a Shared Lives carer or using Shared Lives:
Shared Lives West Sussex Website

Shared holidays

Sally has been a Shared Lives carer for three and a half years with the Guideposts scheme and is currently matched with four people who stay at different times for regular weekends and holidays. Sally writes about taking part in our Town, Sea and Country scheme which enables people to be matched with Shared Lives carers for homely and affordable holidays across anywhere in the UK. Working across local authority boundaries has been a barrier in the past to people taking a holiday wherever they want, whilst many accessible holidays are expensive and can feel institutionalised.

The matching process involved a short matching visit in which Sally and Geoffrey got to know each other a little and a long telephone conversation between Sally and Geoffrey’s long-term Shared Lives carer. Sally read through all of Geoffrey’s plans and risk assessment which she says were “detailed and included valuable practical advice”. This was Sally’s first holiday for someone from another Shared Lives scheme. She writes that after the visit was booked in:

“I was very pleased but after the initial joy I did experience a moment of ‘oh my goodness, what have I just agreed to!’ But then rational thinking returned – yes, it might seem a bit daunting but I was sure that with careful planning and a bit of hard work on my part and support from both schemes, a positive outcome would be achieved.

Geoffrey shared the first three days with a regular service user who was having a respite holiday. They established a good rapport and I was able to find activities to suit both. I spent time researching places to visit and things to do before and during Geoffrey’s stay. I knew he liked classical music and attending concerts so I booked tickets for a Snape Proms event given by the BBC Concert Orchestra. There were situations that could potentially cause Geoffrey great anxiety, so I tried to anticipate the ways in which he might perceive his surroundings in order to minimise such occasions and maintain his confidence. I kept a diary as a basis for personal reflection and for others to read to gain insight into how things had progressed. With Geoffrey’s permission I took a few photographs.

Overall we had a brilliant time! It was often hard and intense work but Geoffrey was able to discuss options for outings and the pros and cons that might arise. He was also familiar with ‘being on holiday’. I got to visit several local museums for the first time. My husband as a support worker joined us on trips when he could – to the concert and for our seaside fish and chips. Throughout I was well supported by both schemes, with Continue reading